Top 10 One-Trick Ponies

Tom Collins

2015-12-28

Jordan Staal won't get you much more than faceoff wins and other one-trick ponies in fantasy hockey.

Guys like Wayne Simmonds, David Backes and Dustin Byfuglien are the darlings of roto and H2H hockey leagues. These guys contribute in pretty much every single category that has been conceived. Poolies jump over themselves for the chance to acquire one of these guys.

The players on this list are the complete opposite. These players listed below contribute to just one category instead of many. Owners sacrifice other categories to draft these guys in the hopes of winning one category. It's enough to drive poolies crazy.

Here are the top 10 players who are great in one category, and average to below-average in everything else.

 

10. Alexei Emelin

Emelin is known for his hard-hitting ways. He's 14th in the league with 104 hits, but his style of play hinders fantasy poolies as he has missed plenty of action. He routinely misses 10-plus games a year and has never played more than 68 games in a season. And he doesn't contribute anything else for poolies. He doesn't score, shoot, or take a lot of PIM. He's even a career minus-18. He does block some shots, but not enough to be a top option in that category.

 

9. Chris Neil

There was a time when Chris Neil was a bit of an offensive juggernaut. Okay, that may be pushing it. But the hard-nosed Sens forward did score 10 goals five times and had eight power-play goals in 2005-06. Now he averages 8:38 a game and is on pace for 189 PIMs. But he no longer scores, gets power-play time or shoots the puck. He's even a minus-player this year.

 

8. Calvin de Haan

I remember a time when the guy was a bit of a fantasy darling. Not overly so, but some thought he had plenty of potential. But now if de Haan gets any points, it's probably a fluke. He's not going to help you in any category outside of blocked shots. He is great in that category. He is fifth in the league with 90 blocked shots.

 

7. Valtteri Filppula

How does this guy keep getting so much ice time? He averages 19:01 per game — second highest among forwards on Tampa. He also somehow gets 2:29 power-play time per game. But he doesn't do much with all that time. Filppula is on pace for just six goals and 26 points. He's also on pace for a minus-20, 109 shots, 41 hits, 29 blocked shots and 54 PIM. He has won 318 faceoffs, 17th best in the league. And he has won 54.5 per cent of them. So he's great there. He's just not fantasy relevant anywhere else.

 

6. Josh Gorges

Gorges has always been a great shot blocker. He even led the league in that category in 2011-12 and is seventh this year with 86 shot blocks. And that's pretty much all he contributes fantasy-wise. Gorges has never scored five goals in a season, and has only hit the 15-point mark twice. He doesn't get PIMs or a high plus-minus. He does throw almost two hits a game, but that's not great in today's NHL (he's ranked 180th in average hits per game).

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5. Ryan Kesler

Kesler has always been an underrated but great faceoff guy. His 380 faceoff wins is 10th in the league and his 56.9 winning percentage is one of the best. And it's not just this year. Last year he won 56.3 per cent of the draws. But what else is he good for? He hasn't been a plus-player since 2011-12. He hasn't cracked 50 points since 2010-11 and is on pace for just 30 points this year.

 

4. Antti Niemi

The Dallas netminder is sixth in wins. Since 2011-12, only Marc-Andre Fleury has picked up more victories than Niemi. But that's all he does well. He's average in every other category. He usually hovers around a .915 save percentage and a 2.40 GAA. So you can routinely count on him to win, and that's about it.

 

3. Travis Zajac

Remember back when Travis Zajac was actually fantasy relevant in a lot of categories? Playing with Zach Parise and Ilya Kovalchuk will do that. Now he's a bit of a mess fantasy-wise. Last year he had just 25 points, which is Dustin Brown bad. This year is a bit better as he is on pace for 38 points. He doesn't do anything fantasy relevant except for faceoffs. He's one of the best in the league with 305 wins and a 54.6 per winning percentage.

 

2. Jordan Staal

Seriously, why else would you have this guy on your team if your league doesn't count faceoffs? His offensive skills are offensive to poolies. He doesn't get PIM. He doesn't block shots. He doesn't get power-play goals. He doesn't shoot. And he's never done these things. What he does do is win faceoffs. He's 20th in the league in faceoffs won and his 58.5 winning percentage is among the best. Throw in his salary in cap leagues and it becomes even worse.

 

1. Matt Martin

I sometimes think hits as a category in hockey pools was created just to make Matt Martin have some sort of fantasy relevance. And Martin was created just to hit players in the National Hockey League. That's it. Nothing else. He's never scored more than eight goals in a season. He's never reached 15 points. He's never been a plus-player. He does get some PIM that helps boost his value somewhat. But if it weren't for hits, he would never be drafted.

 

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